Making Deep Cleaning a Priority

Yesterday, my Linguistics classmates and I moved to a place to study and practice analyzing languages. The place where we are staying had another group here that left just before we arrived. We were warned that we might need to do some cleaning upon. Boy, was that the understatement of the century! It was filthy. Like disgusting filthy. So, I took 2 hours and deep cleaned my bedroom and bathroom and got mostly settled in. Last night, that was my priority. 

Now, I know cleaning. During my time in Bible college, and the year off between then and missions training, my job was in housekeeping. Most of that was done in medical facilities. The thing about being in a medical facility is you have to clean well so that sickness doesn't spread. You have to deep clean your area every single day. People's health is at risk. The staff, patients, and their families are the priority. 

But, we do that in our homes, too, right? Yes. Different people have different standards of clean, different priorities when it comes to cleaning.  For me, The main living spaces, like the bathroom, kitchen and living room, need to be clean. I function better when they are. Often, if I am feeling overwhelmed, spending a few minutes to get stuff done, puts me in a better frame of mind. But my bedroom is often a tornado zone. Why? Because it is just me. I can shut the door and ignore the mess. I sleep and get dressed in there. That is it. That's it's purpose. Do I like it to be clean? Of course, but it just carries the least priority for me. 

I think that we all wish our houses were cleaner or more organized, but there are always 10 billion other things to focus on. It all comes down to what our personal priorities are.

I've been overwhelmed lately. So many things happening at once. Some things in my life, some things in the lives of my friends and families. Some good, some bad. Life. Life gets overwhelming and sometimes- really messy. 

I've been frustrated with a lot of things lately. Today, as I was sitting in my orientation meeting for this practicum, more unexpected things came up. I was overwhelmed and frustrated. Honestly, frustrated with myself more than anything or anyone because I feel like I didn't prepare as much as I should have. Usually, I am planner. Type A poster child type of a planner. And life, for me, goes smoother with a plan. So I was mad at myself for not preparing better. I went back to my room, about ready to cry. 

And then I was convicted.

I was willing to take 2 hours to get my new little home deep cleaned and organized. But how much time to I put in to deep clean and organize my heart? How much time to I spend with the Lord, in His Word, talking to Him? If I'm being honest, it's usually the bare minimum. Some days, barely any conversation. 

My heart is full of nasty things- fear, judgement, anxiety, pride, carelessness, frustration. But, my life, my heart belongs to Jesus now. So now, there is no room for those things.  

The other day, my friend was sharing something his dad talked about- The Main Thing being the main thing. The Main Thing being Jesus. Jesus needs to be my priority. Spending time with Him and allowing Him do deep clean my heart. When I allow Him to do that, He replaces all of the nasty attitudes with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)

Everything else can wait. It MUST wait. Deep cleaning my heart needs to be first priority. 

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer" - Psalm 19:14

She Laughs Without Fear of the Future...

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she 

laughs without fear of the future.

-Proverbs 31:25-

I was browsing Pinterest, and this verse popped up a couple of times. I decided to study it a bit and I my soul needed to hear it. So this is a reminder for my own soul. Maybe it can be a reminder for yours, too. 

The virtuous woman was clothed with strength and dignity...

Not a pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps kind of strength, but an I-am-in-desperate-need-of-dependence-on-the-Lord kind of strength.Oh, how many times I try to do things in my own strength. If only I'd realize the rest that comes in depending on Jesus every moment of every day. Not only is Jesus willing to help, He wants to help with each step of the day, no matter how small or seemingly unimportant I think it may be 

She was someone who was 'worthy of honor or respect'. She didn't set herself up on a pedestal and command respect. No, she simply lived her life in such a way that others respected her. It was based on how she treated other people, not based on what she demanded of them. I must ask myself what I am truly seeking. Am I seeking to serve others and treat them as Jesus would, or am I just wanting the applause of man? God, purify my heart to be used of you and not me using your name for my own gain!

...and she laughs without fear of the future.

She could laugh and not worry. She was a planner, yes, but more than that, she knew God was the one to ultimately take care of her needs and the needs of her family. She didn't fear because she trusted in the One who casts out all fear. I love planning. It makes me giddy. I am that nerdy. But all my planning is rubbish if it takes the place of trusting in my Jesus and depending on Him. 

Big changes are coming. Glorious changes. God-ordained changes. Can I laugh without fear of the future? Can I truly relax and enjoy this journey on which God is taking me? And not because I am trusting in my own planning, because no amount of planning will perfectly prepare me for what's ahead. But can I enjoy this beautiful journey depending on the One who has made me? The One who has plans for me? The One who's PERFECT love casts out ALL fear? The One who already knows the end from the beginning? 

Oh, Soul, laugh without fear of the future. 

A New Appreciation for Spring!

If you've ever met me, probably within 10 seconds you found out that I am from The Pine Tree State, Vacationland, Lobster Country... Maine. I am from Maine.

If you talked to me for more than 30 seconds, you found out how much I adore Maine. I probably described the brilliant colors of the Maple trees in contrast the steady Evergreens in the Fall. I probably described the rocky coast of the Atlantic and the way the sea salt air seeps into my skin when I return to my homeland. Maine's beauty is unlike any place I've ever lived or been. 

I lived in a city in Michigan when I went to Bible school. It was the most ugly place. I loved Bible school. The people were fantastic. But, the beauty of Michigan was not displayed well in that little city. Sorry, Michigan- I must confess that my impression of you has been marred. I know that you are much more lovely than I experienced. I need to go and visit pretty places in Michigan. 

Now, I am in training in Missouri. I am on the Lake of the Ozarks. It's not the same as Maine,  but it's still pretty in it's way. And, there is one thing that Missouri has on Maine.

Spring. 

In Maine, Spring doesn't really exists. It's lots of snow and then it's lots of mud and then Summer. Okay. It might not be quite that bad, but compared to other places, Spring isn't too grand in Maine. 

I have always heard people rave about Spring. I never got it. Fall has always been my favorite season and Spring has always been my least favorite. I didn't understand the fascination with Spring. Living here has helped me understand it more. In fact, it's changed my view on Spring.

It's a beautiful thing to watch deadness come to life. 

I can't help but think of how Christ gives us newness of life after being dead, separated from Him. I love watching the joy in a new believers life. So full of hope!

God allows seasons of life, too. How wonderful it is to have the hope of Spring in the deadness of Winter. 

A Happy Birthday Letter

"Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles." 

-Sharon Jaynes

Dear Mum,

Over the past few years, I think it's pretty safe to say that you've experienced your fair share of struggles. From battling cancer to a divorce you didn't ask for to losing your dad to watching your own mother get older and struggle. There has been lots of pain, and I have watched you.

I have watched you seek the Lord, desiring to see Him through it all. I have watched you seek to trust God and glorify Him in the midst. There are hard days, but you trust that God is bigger. Even when it's not easy. You recognize God's taking care of you and praise Him for it.

I've watched you keep going, even when you wanted to give up, because of the 5 crazies that  are privileged to have you as their mother.

You continue to teach us all  perseverance. You continue to teach us reliance on the Lord for our strength. You teach us grace. You teach us love. You teach us this by modeling it daily.

There have also been some great blessings in the past few years, too. Like the two adorable boys that call you Grandma! And beating cancer's butt! You going back to school! And countless daily blessings.

I have watched you in those, too. Watched you model humility and thankfulness for each thing.

So, on your birthday and always, I am so grateful that God has given me the best mom in the world.

Thanks for being you! Thanks for being born, erm... "29?".. years ago! Thanks for being my Mum.

Have the bestest of birthdays tomorrow! I wish I was there to spoil you! We'll have to settle for a Skype session! (Praise God for technology!)

I love you!
Kaylee-osis

sometimes ya just gotta push the reset button

This has been an overwhelming week, from missing class with a migraine that wouldn't go away, to extremely late nights due because of hard homework assignments, to difficult things happening in my family, to my apartment being in complete disarray and chaos.  I found my attitude towards every getting progressively worse as the week went on. I found discontentment and bitterness creeping into my heart. I found I wasn't loving others as I need to. 

It was really a case of self-centeredness, or ingrown eyeballs, as I have heard it so aptly named.

My dad would say that I needed an attitude adjustment. He'd be right.

Have you ever been with a group and someone disappears for a few minutes? And you wonder what they are doing. I have a confession. Sometimes, I am that person who sneaks away to the bathroom. Sometimes, I just need a few minutes. I really love people, but I am slightly more introverted than extroverted. So, sometimes I need to get away from the noise for just a bit. Then I am golden, down for anything. It's like pushing the reset button. 

Well, by the end of this week, I needed to push the reset button. Yesterday afternoon and today have been the reset button days. Getting some much needed sleep, getting the dishes done, and getting caught up on communication-type things were all needed. And, I did them. But there was something needed even more.

In the Gospels, we read that Jesus would sometimes go off and seclude Himself. What was He doing? Matthew 14: 23 tells us, "After He had sent the crowds away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray;" Jesus knew the best reset button was to pray, to talk with His Father. And, because of Jesus, because He paid for our sins on the cross, the veil was torn in two. That means, we can go and talk to the Father any time, day or night. Whenever we need to hit the reset button, He's there. 

Earlier in Matthew 14, Jesus had secluded Himself, and when He came ashore, He saw thousands of people waiting for Him. We read that He felt compassion on them. He was able to serve and love others well, because He had spent time with the Father. That is where He got His strength to do what His Father had sent Him here to do. So, I am reminded today, that when I am overwhelmed, I can and must run to the Father. Time with Him is the best 'reset' button. 

Just like a good nap usually helps you see things more clearly, time with God completely changes your perspective on life. Plus, it's amazingly refreshing. 

In an email I received recently, someone reminded me of this, "But God is using all of these experiences and training to prepare you as His instrument." I am so thankful for that reminder. Because it's true. God uses everything to prepare us for what He has for us in the future. 

Now that the reset button has been pushed, let's do this thing called life.